The Oldest Profession, Gotham Style

Despite the city’s efforts to curb "quality-of-life crime," the oldest profession continues to thrive in New York—it’s just a little harder to find the practitioners these days. Now we’re not here to debate whether prostitution is right or wrong, whether it demeans women, whether it’s feminism in action, or whether it’s no different from the way most of us sell ourselves between 9 and 5, Monday to Friday. What we will tell you, though, is that it’s illegal. It’s also risky. Getting caught can carry some stiff penalties, not to mention public embarrassment. The writers and publishers of this guide do not endorse the buying and selling of sex between consenting adults, and assume no responsibility for any actions you might undertake on your own.

That said, the scene breaks down into three general categories: streetwalkers, the classic "hookers" and "hustlers" who hang out on street corners and ask you for a date; escort services, where the girl (or guy) comes to you; and in-call services, where you go to them.

Patronizing streetwalkers is, in general, a very bad idea. Aside from the fact that it makes you an easy target for the vice squad, it also puts you in real physical danger. No one walks the streets unless out of necessity. Streetwalkers tend to be drug addicts (who are known to rip off their customers), runaways, impoverished single mothers, and other desperate types. And as far as looks go, they tend to be at the bottom of the heap. And streetwalkers tend not to be too particular about condom use, so you best be. Even if you’re tempted by the low cost of the services provided, or by the thought of doing something this sleazy, think again.

Escort services, on the other hand, are discreet and relatively safe, but pricey. Although many services will send a second girl (or boy) if you don’t like the first one that shows at your door, you usually have to pay for the cab fare of the reject. And it’s not like you can call Consumer Affairs if the service keeps sending you ugly dates. There’s also the additional cost of a hotel room, since, risky business aside, it’s just not a good idea to invite an escort into your home. Finding an escort service is easy, though: Just look in the back of the Village Voice, New York Press, or another free weekly, or do a search on the Internet.

"In-call" is the current euphemism for a whorehouse. They’re trickier to find than escort services, but believe us: there are dozens of nondescript apartments all over the city doubling as brothels. They are found either by word of mouth or through listings in sex rags carried by most adult video stores. At brothels, expect to be searched at the door—standard procedure to make sure you’re neither a cop nor out to rob them. The upside of visiting these establishments, if there is one, is that you can select from a choice of partners, and prices are generally a bit lower than they would be for an escort.
A few words of caution: kissing on the mouth is often, though not always, verboten. It’s considered too intimate an activity. Secondly, always be polite. Never do anything rough, or that you haven’t discussed with your service provider beforehand. Above all, treat him or her with respect—selling a service, even an intimate one such as this, does not make a person bad or "dirty". Courtesy is also common sense: there’s usually muscle of some sort nearby. Like it or not, using the services of a prostitute means you’re making a foray into the criminal underworld.

Tipping is not required, but encouraged—usually 15 to 20 percent—unless you’ve chosen one of the high-priced escort services, in which case as much as a few hundred over the suggested amount isn’t unreasonable. Besides being the polite thing to do, tipping will establish you as a serious customer and make the girl and the service more responsive to you in the future. As with most things in this world, money talks and bullshit walks; in this scene, that goes double.

For more resources and advice from experienced johns, we recommend the World Sex Guide (www.worldsexguide.org). And for a directory of escorts, point your browser to www.eros-ny.com or www.ny-exotics.com.